Blogs and Articles from Third Way Forum Membrs

· Foreigners often get the impression that the Japanese people have a hyper-developed sense of gratitude and thanking each other all the time.

· It seems that being thanked for a favor and getting some return for a favor is always expected (even demanded) in Japan, and it is deeply embedded in the Japanese society. Giving gifts to colleagues upon return from vacations or sending a gift to someone in a hot summer holiday seasons etc is one form of such practices.

· This sense of strong obligation to return a favor may have been a product of Confucianism that emphasized the importance of morality and obligations in the human society.

· It is almost as much as religious people thank God in the West that the Japanese thank each other.

· Maybe it is because the Japanese tend to see themselves as members of the village rather than as individuals in private relationship with God. So they thank the fellow villagers a lot.

· As long as the gratitude they are communicating to each other is genuine, there is no issue. However, often it comes with strings attached. For instance, some leaders may show kindness or offer some help in order to increase his/her own faction within the organization. In this case, the sense of indebtedness occurs and you could easily feel obligated to support the person in return. If this is the case, a sense of 恩 could be an unhealthy one that could lead to some troubles in the near future.

· The same also applies in relationships between companies. Inviting clients to events etc. happens overall in the world. However, in Japan it is easier to create an obligation for return to the invitees. Many companies also restrict the amount one can receive or spend in relationship with business partners. In addition, compliance rules became stricter and better controlled in Japan over the recent years.

· While returning a favor in a healthy way is a good practice, the difficulty is that you could fall into the eternal cycle of mutual pay back. You never know who is to stop and when. Some people even reject to receive a favor, even if it is just good will without any ulterior motive, they just want to avoid to get into obligation.

· It is interesting to note that Japanese tend to honor the ancestors, teachers and the parents. We tend to respect those who came before us. In other words, we are always looking backward. But there is no honoring practice for the future generations. It is probably more relevant and important today to honor the young in Japan. We should be looking forward.

· In today’s digitalization age, people can get a lot of information by themselves quickly online. They do not need a teacher who spends many years and a lot of effort to train them. So probably many people feel much less indebted today and feel less obligated to return a favor to anybody. Also, they could be less grateful as they may feel they are more self-made person learning from YouTube rather than being nurtured by a specific individual.

· Thanks to a more diverse ways of thinking among young people as well as a more digitalized tools, there may be a variety of different ways to reciprocate 恩 ON from now on. Sending back a new year post card (年賀状) will no longer be the only way to reciprocate when you receive one from someone. Even if you feel obligated to reciprocate, you should not feel you have to do so in the only traditional way. You could think of a variety of ways and choose your original way.